


Muse

by PlacentaMilk



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, past Jean/Armin, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlacentaMilk/pseuds/PlacentaMilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Levi has nightmares and Armin has relationship problems with a horse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Muse

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't think of a title have this piece of shit

_“Ill wipe them out from this world until not a single one remains!”_  
***  
Levi wakes up with jolt, immediately sitting up in bed. He’s cold, and he feels clammy.

Levi stares at the empty spot on the bed next to him for a couple seconds, eyes trained on the white sheets but ears listening, straining for any sounds in the small apartment.

He gets up when he hears nothing and wraps his arms around himself, walks out of the bedroom and looks around the apartment.

Eren isn’t in the bathroom, or the spare room that they use for Levi’s work or Erens painting. He’s not in the kitchen or the living room, and the front door is locked so that could only leave one place left.

Levi opens the curtains just enough to open up the balcony door and step outside.

It’s even colder out here, since Winter is coming up.

Eren is leaning against the railing, not facing the building, watching cars drive by. Levi shivers and closes the door, slides behind Eren and wraps his arms around Erens stomach underneath his sweater, stealing his warmth.

“Well talk to him about it. When have you ever let someone stomp over you?” Eren says into the phone, places his right hand over the ones that snuck under his shirt. It's silent, Levi can’t hear who’s on the other side of the phone but he bets it’s Armin. Armin keeps having relationship problems with a horse.

Levi rests his forehead on Erens back, closes his eyes.

After a couple more words are exchanged, Eren hangs up and puts his phone in the pocket of his shorts. “Coconut head?” Levi asks, trying to make it seem like he’s fine.

He’s really not, but all he needs right now is Eren, not Erens questions. Eren hums and then it’s silent, like he’s trying to decide weather he should ask what it was or just leave it be.

Of course, Eren being the loving, worried boyfriend he is, chooses to question. “What was it this time?” Eren asks, quietly, like he’ll make Levi jolt if he asks the wrong thing.

Levi has nightmares often, about all sorts of things. Every night it’s something new. Old memories from past lives, or something his sick and twisted mind has come up with. If it’s not nightmares he’s having, then he won’t dream. Just the other night Levi hit Eren in the face so hard in his sleep that Eren bled from his nose for thirty minutes afterwards. All because he was having a nightmare.

Sometime in the middle of Levi’s thinking, Erens turned around in his arms, right hand caressing his cheek. “Will you tell me?” Eren asks softly, eyes big and tired. But never tired for Levi.

“It was one of the ones where we were fighting Titans. The one where I found you dead in the basement with a note saying that you had to exterminate all the Titans. Every last one of them.”

Levi whispers the last part, never looking up at Eren, eyes trained on Erens left collarbone but unfocused. Eren doesn’t move for a moment, doesn’t say anything, doesn’t dare breathe. But then he’s hugging Levi tightly, an overwhelming urge to protect Levi.

He always wants, always needs to protect Levi. But it’s unbearable this time, drowning Eren. “Im here.” Eren mumbles into Levi’s hair. “I am alive and I will never leave you.” He mumbles again and kisses the top of Levi’s head, hand reaching up to run across Levi’s undercut.

Eren has nightmares too, but he never gets them as frequently or as badly as Levi, and if Eren could, he would take away all of those nightmares in a heartbeat, even if it meant that he had to go through the nightmares just like Levi does.

“I love you” Eren says underneath the moonlight casting down on them, let’s the words be carried away in the wind.

  
***

  
“I have to meet up with Armin today, do you want to come?” Eren asks as he emerges from the bathroom, putting on a head band to keep his hair out of the way of his face. Levi stares at Eren as he moves from the bathroom door to the bedside table, thinking about it.

Eren pulls his toothbrush out from the drawer because Levi, being the clean freak he is, insisted. ( _“Eren, there was a study and it showed that people who leave their toothbrushes in their bathrooms have feces on the bristles. People who keep them out of the bathroom don’t!”_ )

Levi stretches from his place on the bed, really thinks about it. It’s eleven in the morning and Levi has work to do. “No. What time do you think you’ll be back?” Levi asks and scratches his hip.

Levi’s honestly a work of art, Eren thinks. He’s just laying there on the bed, on his back, shirt scrunched up so you could see Levi’s hip bones. Eren wonders if there’s something far beyond “In love” because Eren is sure that he’s passed it.

“What are you staring at?” Levi asks, pulling Eren out of his thoughts. “Sorry, you’re just really fucking beautiful. I should paint you.” Eren mumbles the last part and bends down, capturing Levi’s lips in a short kiss. “As if you don’t already” Levi says quietly when Eren pulls away.

Eren gives a shy smile and stands up, says “You’re my muse, what can I say?” and walks to the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

A couple minutes later Eren comes back out of the bathroom and walks to the bed, sits down on it, facing Levi. “I don’t know how long I’ll be. Armin is, of course, going to talk about Jean. We’re going to eat and I think he wants to see a movie. We might go to the mall too, which I’m predicting that Jean’s gonna show up.” Eren says and looks down at his legs, obviously tired.

Levi thinks about it. He can always do his work later, but then again Eren can go out with Armin anytime. “You’re obviously tired, why don’t you just tell Armin that you can’t go today.” Levi says and sits up.

Eren shakes his head and covers his mouth with his hand, yawns. “You know I can’t do that.” Eren says, looks up at Levi with watery eyes, from the yawning. Levi sighs, says “Ill go.”

  
***

  
“Hi Eren, Hi Levi.” Armin says from the booth he’s seated at. Eren says hi, Levi doesn’t bother doing anything.

Levi slides into the booth first, Eren second.

A waiter comes over and asks what they all want to drink. Armin gets sprite, Eren gets coca cola (because he’s a brat, and brats like sweet things, Levi thinks distantly) and Levi gets water.

“This morning he was on the phone with some guy named Marco. He obviously didn’t want me to know about it, because the moment he saw me he hung up and gave me the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.” Armin rambles on and on, only stopping when the waiter comes over to give them their drinks, and to ask what they want to eat.

Levi’s not really paying attention to the two, staring out the window. Whenever he tunes into the conversation, he automatically tunes back out because Armin is annoying and the problem here is simple.

Jean’s no longer interested in Armin, and instead is interested in a guy named Marco.

“The solution to your relationship problem is obvious. Break up with him.” Levi speaks up, interrupting Armin in the middle of his speaking. He doesn’t look at Armin when it goes silent at the table, continues looking outside.

He only looks over when nobody has said anything for a minute. “What?” Armin asks, eyes wide.

“It’s obvious that Jean really isn’t that interested anymore, since he’s chatting up some guy named Marco.” Levi says. He remembers Marco from a past life.

He died just like everyone else did.

“Not to say that you’re not interesting, Armin. Unless you want to get hurt, break up with him first. Besides, if a guy isn’t committed to you, why would you waste your time on him anyway?” Levi asks, watches the waiter come over with their food.

It’s mostly silent about that topic for the rest of the time in the restaurant.

When they all finally leave the restaurant, Levi’s feeling kind of neglected. Eren isn’t purposely ignoring him, because if he did Levi would kick his ass into next week, but like… Armin’s getting all the attention, and Levi’s selfish.

Sue him.

“He’s calling me right now, Ill be back” Armin says, taking his phone out, answering it and walking away. “I think I’m gonna head home.” Levi says, hugging his coat around himself tighter.

“Why?” Eren asks, looks at Levi. “I haven’t really talked since the restaurant, and I’m feeling like a third wheel with my boyfriend and his best friend.” Levi says, eyes sliding away from Eren and to the movie theater that’s right there.

He knows Eren and Armin though. They’d talk through the whole movie, and Levi can’t handle it when people talk during a movie.

Levi see’s Eren frown out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t really feel bad. Eren starts to speak up, but Levi just shrugs, says “I have work to do anyway.”

***  
It’s around nine at night that Eren gets home, and Levi’s a bit pissed off, for multiple reasons.

One; Erens late. No phone calls, no texts. Levi called and texted because Eren described what they were going to do and Eren took way longer than he should’ve, plus he never answered. Two; His work didn’t save so now he has to go into work tomorrow and do overtime. Three; Eren brought Armin home, so Levi can’t even lash out at the brat.

And finally, Four; Levi has absolutely no reason to be mad at Eren. He’s overreacting and he knows it. He wants to cry and-

Levi sighs and rests his head down on his desk, listens to Eren and Armin talk in the living room. His eyes water up and he’s so pathetic honestly.

Levi decides he’s not gonna sleep tonight. Not with Armin in the house. Not when he has bad nightmares.

He lifts his head up and starts working again. If he’s gonna stay up all night, why not make the use of it? Maybe he won’t have to do overtime tomorrow.

  
***

  
Eren never comes in to check on Levi. He usually does, when Levi’s not in bed around eleven because he knows Levi likes to go to bed early, but now it’s one in morning and Levi hears the sink running in the bathroom across the hall.

Erens getting ready for bed.

Levi decides to wait, can’t really be mad at the brat if Eren at least comes and says goodnight or something but Eren doesn’t. Levi hears the bedroom door close, and that’s that.

It’s whatever. Levi will continue working and in five hours he’ll get ready for work and leave. Levi’s really not that affected by Eren.

He’s not.

  
***

  
Levi hears Eren groan from the bed as he’s getting ready for work. He’s buttoning the sleeves of his suit when he hears “Levi?”

Levi doesn’t say anything, assuming the brat is more than half asleep and will just go back to bed if he doesn’t get an answer. He walks to the bathroom, being as quiet as he can, not wanting to talk to Eren right now, and takes out his hair gel.

He honestly hates having any type of product in his hair but his boss, Erwin, said that important people are coming into work today, and that he’d better look nice.

He slicks his hair back, cringing the whole way through. ( ** _Guys look up Levi with his hair slicked back you will not be disappointed._** )

He puts the gel away and washes his hands because he’s like that and exits the bathroom.

Eren is sitting up, back against the headboard, and he’s rubbing his eyes. “I don’t get why you use that if you don’t want to” Eren says, voice tired. “I don’t get why you don’t talk to me and then make it hard for me to be mad.” Levi says, quietly, talking to himself more than anything but he knows Eren heard it.

It’s silent while Levi’s getting his dress shoes out of the closet. When Levi stands back up, Eren hugs him from behind, like Erens life depends on it.

Levi just sighs, doesn’t move or anything, waits until Eren let’s go. “Im doing overtime. Don’t wait up.” Is all Levi says as he walks around Eren, not giving him a glance.

  
***

  
The air smells like sex and alcohol and why did he agree to coming here with Hanji and Erwin?

They sit down at a circular booth, and Hanji is just yapping on and on about something that doesn’t really concern Levi or Erwin, so he doesn’t know why she’s talking about it.

Levi unbuttons the top of his shirt, it being too hot in here. “Do you have a cigarette?” Levi asks Erwin, since he left his in his car. Erwin nods, gives him one and takes out a lighter, lights Levi’s cigarette for him.

Levi easily relaxes with a couple inhales, even though he’s not in the cleanest place in the world.

They all talk about different things, and Levi is stress-free until Hanji bring up Eren. “So, where’s Eren?” Hanji asks, glasses up on her head, eyes sparkling.

“As if I would bring him anywhere near you.” Levi says, picks up his glass of whiskey and drinks it. “Okay, then tell me why he’s sitting at the bar, which is near me?” Hanji says.

Levi looks over at the bar and surely enough, there Eren is, comforting Armin.

Levi’s eye twitches, just the slightest.

Levi turns back to Hanji, shrugs. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him all day.” Levi says.

He doesn’t know where to go from here. What to do. He knows he’s being irrational but he can’t just let it go.

Levi sighs and takes another cigarette from Erwin, also takes Erwin’s drink and downs it.

“Hey Hanji!” A cheery voice says, and Levi watches as Armin bounds over and hugs Hanji.

Wasn’t Eren comforting him a second ago?

“Hi my little cinnamon roll. How are you?” Hanji asks, puts her drink down and hugs Armin back. “Im okay.” Armin says and sits down next to Hanji when they stop hugging.

Eren sits down next to Levi, rests his head on Levi’s shoulder.

“I thought you quit” Eren says quietly, referring to the cigarette held between Levi’s fingers. Levi blows out smoke, sighs. “And I thought you were comforting Armin.” Levi says back quietly, not bothering the other three people at the table.

“Jean broke up with him, but he pretends he’s fine.” Eren says, and after a moment adds “Im sorry.”

How can Levi be mad?

He brings his right arm up, wraps it around Erens shoulders. “Don’t be. Im the one who should be saying sorry.” He says, drops a kiss ontop of Eren head.

  
***

  
Levi wakes up, shaking.

Erens on his knees by him, blood running down his face, bruises blooming across his chest.

It was really bad this time.

Levi can’t speak, too scared, too nauseous. He gets up, mumbles out a sorry and runs to the bathroom, closes and locks the door before throwing up in the toilet.

Erens knocking on the door, begging Levi to open up, but he doesn’t pay attention, too busy dry heaving into the toilet bowl.

This happens sometimes, the nightmares too real. So real that he can smell the iron in the air, feel the blood on his hands. It always makes him throw up.

He eventually gets up, flushes the toilet and washes out his mouth with water and mouthwash.

When he unlocks the door and opens it, Erens on him, asking him questions, trying to hold him. Levi just pushes Eren away, says “I can’t keep hurting you, Eren.”

“You’re not… It’s okay Levi.” Eren says, blocking Levi from walking out of the room. “No it’s not, Eren!” Levi exclaims.

“Look at you! You have blood just pouring down your face, and look at all the bruises I’ve caused. I can’t..” Levi trails off and sighs, looks down at the ground.

“Levi, I can take this. This is nothing, okay? Don’t feel bad.” Eren says, crowding Levi against the wall, because Levi always calms down when he’s being crowded by Eren, for some reason.

“How can I not feel bad? I made you bleed, I’ve bruised you.” Levi says, looking at the purple bruises on Erens chest. “And you’ve done the same before, and that’s okay. It’s okay.” Eren says, not realizing how stupid he sounds.

“You realize how stupid you sound, right? …I’m gonna start sleeping on the couch from now on.” Levi says even though they both know Levi can’t sleep unless he’s by Eren.

“But you-“ “Im gonna have to deal with it. Please, don’t fight me on this. You know you’re not gonna change my mind.” Levi interrupts, pushes Eren back just a bit farther and walks out of the bedroom, closes the door behind him.

He cries all night long.

  
***

  
When Levi wakes up in the morning, he’s still on the couch, but he’s in Erens arms. “What are you doing brat?” Levi asks from his place in Erens chest.

“You wouldn’t stop crying in your sleep so I came out here with you. I knew you were gonna wake up if I moved you to the bed so I didn’t” Eren says, trailing his fingertips up and down Levi’s back.

“I don’t get how I ended up with you” Levi says quietly into Erens clothed chest, almost as if he’s afraid to say it. “I don’t get it either.” Eren says, pulls Levi just a tiny bit closer.

“What do you want to do today?” Eren asks after a couple minutes of silence. Levi scoffs and shoves his leg in-between Erens, says “I have work.”

“No you don’t. I called Erwin earlier, and he said you don’t have to go to work, that Petra has it.” Eren says and finally looks down at Levi, smiles softly when he sees that Levi’s already looking at him. “You can call Erwin if you want to make sure.” Eren says and brushes back Levi’s hair, out of his face.

Levi thinks about it as he swats Erens hand away. “No, I trust you.” Levi says after a moment, then adds “I want to stay inside all day.”

It’s understandable.

There’s silence, but it’s comfortable. There’s birds outside that are chirping, just the slightest, and Levi hears music playing from Erens phone that’s on the table.

It’s Sweater Weather.

Last night was rough. The events that happened were like an ocean, angry from a storm. But this morning it’s calm and peaceful.

It’s like the saying, “The calm before the storm” except it’s backwards.

“I also have a surprise for you. Well, it’s not really a surprise, but I thought you’d like to see it before I post it, because you always have a say in weather or not I post my painting’s.” Eren rambles on, but not breaking the quiet atmosphere.

“Are you going to show your painting to me?” Levi asks, cutting Eren off from rambling any further. “No, not yet. Later when we’re ready to get up.” Eren says, and they spend the next few hours on the couch, tangled up together, listening to Erens ‘The Neighborhood’ playlist.

  
***

  
They end up getting up around eleven in the morning, what with Levi claiming the need to bleach the bathroom and the bedroom, and Erens growling stomach.

They eat first, and then Eren says that he hasn’t finished his painting yet, so Levi should bleach the entire house now, while Erens working on the painting.

Levi agrees easily, the memories of throwing up last night urging him to clean the bathroom quicker.

After Levi’s finished bleaching the bathroom and the bedroom, changing the sheets and making the bed, putting Erens blood-stained clothes in the washer, he goes and knocks on the spare room door, asks if Erens done yet.

Eren lets him in and in the corner by the window, there’s Erens easel with a big painting on it.

The pair walks closer, and it’s Levi.

Eren never paints anybody’s faces in any of his paintings, unless he’s doing a portrait somebody’s paying for, but Levi knows that this painting is him.

It’s the scene from either yesterday or the day before that, Levi can’t remember, but there he is.

The point of view is high up-a standing pov-and from the side of the bed, and Levi’s shirt is raised just the slightest where he’s scratching his hip bone, legs entangled in a mass of white, fluffy blankets. The colors aren’t bright, blue and greys, so you could assume that the time of day in the painting is some time before the sun rises.

Levi never knows what to say on Erens paintings, especially ones of himself. So he just turns around and hugs Eren, says “You’re a romantic sap” and that’s good enough for Eren.

“I told you I was gonna paint you.”

**Author's Note:**

> describing the painting was vvvv bad sorry about that and I also changed the title


End file.
